You will decide that before you die, you want to successfully play connect the dots with someones freckles. Now to convince the unsuspecting victim...

Taurus This fortnight you will be troubled and concerned when you realize that those warm and fuzzy feelings you have, are actually the warning sign of a critical case of poison ivy you contracted from your camping trip over the weekend. That's OK, maybe you will meet a super hot nurse while you are picking up your medication.

Libra This fortnight you will begin a small feud with your local school district when you are refused access to Pig Latin as a foreign language. And hey! Your right! Its not fair to restrict education of the unfamiliar yet verbally stimulating language of the Piglatin..eeze.. ites... ogons...

You think you sunburned the bottoms of your feet. Weird. Well, at least you can say you did it just once.

Aries You put all of your eggs in one basket, never considering what would happen if you tripped and smashed them on the ground as you skipped down the street with joy. Don’t worry, they are a dime a dozen. Taurus And you wonder if this will ever work. The balance is all screwy, the [...]

Cancer Yes. There is a small chance that you will get into a high speed chase ultimately ending in a massive exposition as you collide with a gas truck. Fortunately, this little adventure will not end your life but leave you with a devastating amount of debt and a short time in prison.... You're right... there is a slight chance that can happen but until it does you might as well enjoy your day.